{"id":683983,"date":"2010-03-05T19:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-06T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"Gizmodo-5486866"},"modified":"2010-03-05T19:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-03-06T00:00:00","slug":"the-apple-lawsuit-rampage-wed-love-to-see-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/683983","title":{"rendered":"The Apple Lawsuit Rampage We’d Love to See [Humor]"},"content":{"rendered":"

Apple’s lawsuit against HTC<\/a> made one thing clear: Steve. Jobs. Will. Cut You. And with all the patents they’ve got? Nobody’s safe. Here’s who’s next on the subpoena warpath:<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #8<\/a>,567,301:<\/strong> A Process to Cryogenically Microbead Pasteurized Dairy
\nDefendant:<\/strong> Dippin’ Dots<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #5<\/a>,475,939:<\/strong> Inexpensive Self-Assembled Home Furnishings With Names That Sound Like Lesser Norse Gods
\nDefendant:<\/strong> Ikea<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #6<\/a>,374,752:<\/strong> Constructing an Opulent Hyper-Futuristic City Without Having the Resources to Maintain It
\nDefendant:<\/strong> Dubai<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #3<\/a>,405,356:<\/strong> Music Composition Utilizing Three Chords In Sequence and Repetitive Anti-Establishment Lyrics
\nDefendants:<\/strong> Joey Ramone; Iggy Pop; Johnny Rotten; et al<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #2<\/a>,366,291:<\/strong> How a Bill Becomes a Law
\nDefendants:<\/strong> Congressional and Executive Branches of US Government; “School House Rock”<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #4<\/a>,769,002:<\/strong> Placing “I” Before “E” (Excepting Those Occasions In Which Preceded By “C” Or When Phonetically Comparable to “A”)
\nDefendants:<\/strong> Strunk and White; My Third Grade Homeroom Teacher; the English Language<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #9<\/a>,753,482:<\/strong> Achieving Fame Despite Lack of Discernable Talent or Drive
\nDefendants:<\/strong> Paris Hilton, Spencer Pratt, the Cast of “Tool Academy,” et al<\/p>\n

<\/a>Patent #1<\/a>,749,682:<\/strong> Dogs
\nDefendants:<\/strong> Dogs<\/p>\n



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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Apple’s lawsuit against HTC made one thing clear: Steve. Jobs. Will. Cut You. And with all the patents they’ve got? Nobody’s safe. Here’s who’s next on the subpoena warpath: Patent #8,567,301: A Process to Cryogenically Microbead Pasteurized Dairy Defendant: Dippin’ Dots Patent #5,475,939: Inexpensive Self-Assembled Home Furnishings With Names That Sound Like Lesser Norse Gods […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":288,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4821],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-683983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9NivD-2RVZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/683983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/288"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=683983"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/683983\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=683983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=683983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=683983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}