Dowry in Traditional Afar Ethnic Group
By Milka Teklom
https://shabait.com/2022/01/16/dowry-in ... nic-group/
HISTORY & CULTURE
Jan 16, 2022
I have a friend from the Afar ethnic group, who likes to talk about her heritage and culture. So one day, as she always does, she was telling me and some friends about Afar’s wedding ceremony and their system of dowry. The Afar culture is fascinating but we were all mesmerized, especially, by the bride price. The bride price consists of several things; including, preferably, a golden belt. The groom gives gold not only to his bride, but also her maid of honor. For this reason, every friend of the bride wants to be her maid of honor. In short, the dowry system in Afar is favorable to women.
Many Eritrean families claim, dowry is given with good intentions and induces harmony in the relations of the families of the bride and the groom. However, in many parts of the world the dowry is seen as a problem to the bride’s family mainly because it causes financial problems and is degrading to the bride. In today’s world where women have made major strides in their struggle for equality and women’s empowerment, many rightly wonder why the bride’s parents have to always give dowry. The Afar dowry system is perhaps the right answer to that question and it truly shows the value of women.
Afar wedding ceremony is a very colorful event, characterized by the constant offers of gifts. It all starts, with the groom’s family heading to the bride’s house to ask for her hand. On that occasion, the groom has to give a bag full of clothes and shoes for his bride-to-be. He also has to bring along a bag full of clothes for his future wife’s extended family, both her mother’s and father’s close relatives. The groom is also expected to give to the members of the bride’s extended family a certain amount of money, which is fairly distributed among them. The whole process is repeated, on the engagement ceremony.
On the engagement ceremony, the bride’s and groom’s families set a date for the marriage and then preparations for the wedding and life thereafter begins. The first thing that happens in the process is: Ad Ari. Ad Ari is a tradition of building a house for the bride, which is built in the compound of her family’s to make it easy for her to start her married life in a familiar environment, where she is likely to be most comfortable. She usually stays in her family’s compound for two years, or until she has her first child, before she goes to live with her in-laws. The building of Ad Ari, which takes almost four days to complete, is fully financed by the groom’s family. When Ad Ari is built, the groom’s family hosts a dinner party for all those involved in its making.
After Ad Ari, a tradition called Ebna Nikson is organized. This tradition is a fight, between the married and the single women of the bride’s family. The bride’s friends, also participate in this event. In the fight, which is long and hard but friendly, the winners put henna on the bride’s hands and feet. And, the married women’s team is made to win. A similar event takes place at the groom’s house too, but it is often less violent. Two kids, relatives whose parents are still alive, are chosen to put henna on the groom’s hands. The groom’s best men, also put henna on their hands. Finally, the wedding takes place.
The cost of the wedding ceremony, is covered by the groom and his family. In Afar culture, a camel, which is very expensive, is one of the most precious gifts you could give to your bride’s family. Besides camel, gold in the form of a set of earrings, necklaces, bracelets, belt, and hair and face ornaments is given to the bride. Just like the engagement gift a bag of clothes and shoes is also given to the bride, her family and her maid of honor.
On the wedding day, the groom and his best men go to the bride’s house and before entering the house they slaughter a goat. Once the groom and his best men enter the house and are seated, the wedding ceremony begins and ends with a prayer by the sheiks.
The Afar dowry might seem expensive, but the tradition shows how much the Afar respect the woman and her family. In any case, though, I am not claiming a woman’s value is measured by how much money the groom offers.
The peculiarity aside, dowry is traditionally practiced in all Eritrean ethnic groups. But, it is not legal in the current modern Eritrean Civil Code.
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There is No Place Like Home
By Mical Tesfay
https://shabait.com/2022/01/16/there-is ... eaPrevails
Q & A
Jan 16, 2022
He is the late Ermias Dawit Asghedom, aka Nipsey Hussle’s, father- Dawit Asghedom. As a father who has raised such a successful son in a foreign country, we have conducted an interview regarding how demanding it is to raise children abroad who have strong attachment with their home country.
Welcome back, Mr. Dawit. You have come on a holiday season. So how does it feel to spend holidays here in Eritrea, with your people?
First, I would like to thank you for inviting me. It always feels good to be home. However, this time I’m here in my home country after a long time because of many reasons; covid-19 being among them. So it feels great to be here again, after around three years. Most of all, when you come back home you get the time to rest unlike our lives in the US. During the past three years, a lot of things have changed including the addition of a new baby to the family. My niece’s baby, he is two years old now. So, everything feels beautiful now that I’m home.
On many occasions, it has been said that Eritrean nationals abroad have formed a fourth front for Eritrea’s development and resilience. Can you please tell us, about the nationals living abroad and their activities?
Eritreans in the diaspora have been struggling for a very long time, with their personal lives. However, their country is always on the picture. All over the world, they work to give what is required of them. For instance, in the mainstream media, there is misinformation about Eritrea. They say all the bad things they can, to make Eritreans look bad. Hearing such fabricated information really hurts, when you actually know what exactly the truth is and such things encouraged us to organize ourselves and fight against those biased information. We go to higher offices, to tell what the true story is. To tackle all those things aimed at destroying us, we are very well organized and working so hard.
As a parent who has raised his children abroad, what do you believe is the secret of teaching them about their people and culture? Because I remember, in his interview our beloved Nipsey Hussle mentioned that he felt like the blank spot in his life was filled when he made his way back home.
There are many people who deserve the credit, for my success in teaching my boys about their people and culture. Of course I did my best and so has their mother, but their grandparents, my friends and the community as a whole have played their role. As for me, there is one thing I consider as the secret for my kids to be like this. I left my countryz when I was young. However, I have always had a strong sense of nationalism and that made me an active member in the social, political and other matters regarding Eritrea. When they were kids, I used to take them to the Eritrean community, cultural shows, and wedding ceremonies. Their young age made them grab a lot from such events and gatherings and they were well acquainted with the culture and their people. They loved it! For them, it was something unique in comparison with what was in their surrounding in the US. The mother of my kids was also fond of the culture, which was a big help. In 2005, when I brought them here for almost three months, we visited places like Massawa. They saw the cultural activities themselves and they tasted the food. They loved it, because they experienced it in its original place. I took them to Sawa, to show them how the youth are working hard to build their country and how the national service is so important. Back then, everyone was friendly and welcoming and they felt the sense of belongingness here in Eritrea. When we got here, they met their cousins and the rest of the family. They had such a quality time, with their own people. That trip left an impression on them and that’s when they started to fall in love with their country. Among my kids, Ermias used to love reading books. So I used to give him articles and books that helped him to know about the history of Eritrea, the armed struggle of the Eritrean people and all the hardships that was experienced to bring independence. When we went back to the US, they were filled with love and they made their way back home in 2018 again. So the fact that they grew up with the Eritrean community in America, reading histories about their country and most of all visiting their homeland was the secret I believe.
Nipsey Hussle had some projects, before he died. So as one of his fans, I wonder what happened to those projects.
Surprisingly, I realized that he made a lot of influence on many people after he died. The message he was sending through his works was a big deal, for many people. On the streets, the people came out of their windows and gave us love by tapping on their chest. The streets were full of pictures of Ermias. He has always been bent, to help others. There are a lot of examples but I will tell you two stories, for now. One day, I went to his burial place to drop flowers. There were a lot of people who came there, for the same reason. They gave me some moment with my son and distanced themselves from me. After I finished, an Asian guy approached me and told me a story.
Then someone, gave him a book about Nipsey and his album for him to read and listen to his songs. He then said,I was once learning to be a physician and suddenly gave up and was thinking of quitting.
Now, he has graduated and has became what he wanted to be.When I read the books and heard his songs, I was filled with hope and got the courage to stand up again. Life is like a marathon and it is full of bumps. However, you should never give up was Nipsey’s message.
Another story is, I was invited to a restaurant to have a dinner with a friend. A mother with her little boy was there, to celebrate her son’s birthday. When he saw me, he told his mom that taking a picture with me would be the best birthday gift ever. So she came and asked, if her son could take a picture with me. I asked the kid, what exactly he knows about Nipsey and gave me a short and interesting answer:
His story makes you feel, as if he is still alive. This and all therefore encourages you to push more on what he has been doing before his death, because at some point you can feel how much space he has got in people’s hearts. We are doing the things he has always wanted to do, to keep his legacy. There were some songs he sang, but was not able to release them. Now, they are already released. The clothing business is doing well, too. We are thinking of opening a new store, within six months. We will soon do some projects, here in Eritrea. We have already started working on Nipsey’s documentary and it is going to be about his life and where his homeland is.He is my motivator. Not only to be a rapper, but in everything.
