The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. — E E Cummings

Re: joke of the day

Postby Obamajr. » 25 Dec 2008, 13:04

Three Asians went to London

Three Asians, go into a restaurant in London.

"Excuse me, but if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease," says the waiter.

The Chinese says, "What's a shortage?"

The Vietnamese says, "What's a steak?"

The North Korean says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

Re: joke of the day

Postby Obamajr. » 28 Dec 2008, 10:08

Sex In The Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated
pleasure device... a vibrator!
:roll: Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic.

"You impotent ," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to
me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

"I'll explain the toy . . . :roll: you explain the kids."

Re: joke of the day

Postby balambaras » 31 Dec 2008, 03:44

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:

"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.

"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:


he replied laughing,"Coz . . ." "I just love hearing it. . . ."

Re: joke of the day

Postby Obamajr. » 01 Jan 2009, 21:09

American in Mexico

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses.
This is the only [deleted] I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his [deleted] for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog.
The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says :lol: "Will you hold my wiener while I scratch my [deleted]?"

Re: joke of the day

Postby Obamajr. » 04 Jan 2009, 08:29


A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then he goes back in a couple of times without bringing out anybody.
So a fireman asks him, "Why are you going back in there?"
The man replies, :roll: "I'm turning over my mother-in-law

:) love this guy
ETHIO comedy by meskerem ... re=related

Re: joke of the day

Postby Obamajr. » 07 Jan 2009, 22:03

Hold Me

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says: :roll: ''I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.''
The husband says, ''WHAT??'' The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them.
Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, ''But you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it.''
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on.
She says ''Okay, I'm ready, let's go to the cash register.''
The husband says, ''No - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff.''
The wife's face goes blank. :roll: ''No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.''
:lol: :lol: :lol: I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING ... re=related

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